sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
