The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
