From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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