Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
