i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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