garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize