when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize