I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
