bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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