it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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