For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm just crazy horny about you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
