I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
