He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
