Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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