using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
