what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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