at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
