last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
