Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
