i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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