I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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