you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
