You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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