Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I currently don't understand fingers.
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