I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
