I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he was CRYING into my vagina
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
