I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize