Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Little spoons don't ask big questions
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
