Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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