I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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