Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
