Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
