is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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