Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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