fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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