i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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