My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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