so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
