google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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