I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
