can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
