chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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