i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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