I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
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The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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