Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
