when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize