yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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