Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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