I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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