i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
