Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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