I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
