guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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