even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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