Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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