Will you blow on my dice?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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