just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
