She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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