We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
