you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
